This interview was conducted before the events in Lizzie’s Surprise. Most of the questions are from a list of icebreakers.
Lily: Good morning, Lizzie. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me on a Saturday morning.
Lizzie: You’re welcome. But did it have to be so early?
Lily: Sorry about that. I’m heading off to do some research in a bit, and I’ll be gone most of the day. I wanted to get to know you a little better before we get to your story. Shall we get to it?
Lizzie: I have a full cup of coffee, so I’m ready to roll.
Lily: Caffeine is always a plus! First question, who was the last person you held hands with?
Lizzie (rolls eyes): Sad to say it was probably one of my nieces. I’m going to go with Rachel, who’s five. Not that I’m sad I held hands with her, but it’s been way too long since I’ve held hands with a guy that I was into, you know?’
Lily: Trust me, Lizzie, I can relate. Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?
Lizzie: Ha! Depends on who I’m with and if there are cocktails involved. I’m shy around people that I don’t know, but I think that comes from being an introvert. When I’m with friends and family, I’m pretty open and outgoing. When I’ve had a few drinks, I’ve been known to become the loudest person in the room.
Lily: Makes sense. Next question, who are you looking forward to seeing?
Lizzie: Oh, that’s an easy one. Girls night in tonight with my best friends, Meg and Jess, Thai food and Australian wine.
Lily: Sounds like fun! Would you say you’re easy to get along with?
Lizzie: Most of the time, I guess. But I have my limits, especially at work.
Lily: Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him?
Lizzie: I wish I could say no, but unfortunately … yeah. Who hasn’t? He could be incredibly charming when he wanted to, so he made me forget what a colossal ass he was. I did learn my lesson, though, so the next time he came around I told him to get lost.
Lily: If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?
Lizzie: Well, I’m not ‘in like’ with anybody at the moment so …
Lily: But if you were?
Lizzie: Then he’d better take care of me, just like I’d take care of him. Isn’t that the idea?
Lily: Yes, in a perfect world. So, if you’re not dating anyone at the moment, who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Lizzie: I’m slightly obsessed with Griffin Brookes, the actor. He’s about as perfect as they come, not that I ever expect to meet a guy like that!
Lily: But a girl can dream? Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Lizzie: To quote the Magic Eight Ball, “outlook not so good”. I’m dating challenged, and I’m a homebody, so meeting guys has never been easy for me. But, hey, never say never, right?
Lily: Exactly. This one’s pretty personal, so you don’t have to answer. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Lizzie: Depends on who I’m talking to, I guess. It’s not something I’m likely to bring up, and I’m a relatively private person. But if there’s something that I need to talk about, I can go to Meg and Jess, for sure.
Lily: Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Lizzie: Hmm. That’s a tough one! Let me think … okay, I ran into my old friend Matt the other night after choir practice, and we got very philosophical. God, the Universe, good versus evil, just light conversation that ended with the question ‘can light exist without darkness’. Is that deep enough?
Lily: You’ll have to let me know when you find the answer to that one! Okay, this one is easier! What does your most recent text say?
Lizzie (after whipping out her phone): Honey bourbon? Yes? No? That’s from Meg; she has a friend who runs a distillery. If you were wondering, the answer was yes, and we’ll be sampling some of that later.
Lily: I’m hesitant to ask this one, but it’s on the list …
Lizzie: It’s quite a list!
Lily: It’s from a list of icebreakers and, you know what, I don’t need to know the answer to that one, so I’m substituting one of my own. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with.
Lizzie: Oh, that’s too easy! Simon Prince, the crime novelist, is my second cousin, and I’ve known Tessa Jameson since she was tiny. I have made reservations for a few famous people, but I can’t say who.
Lily: I’ve heard of Tessa but I’m not familiar with her work, but Simon? Every single book of his is a must-read!
Lizzie: I’ll tell him you said that. He still gets like a kid on Christmas when he hears that kind of stuff, even after five straight New York Times bestsellers.
Lily: And I’ll try not to go all fan-girl again. So, do you like big crowds of people?
Lizzie: Not in general, since I tend to feel overwhelmed, but it depends on the occasion.
Lily: Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Lizzie: Hell, yeah, although I have crappy luck for the most part. But I choose to believe in the good stuff. My day may come eventually.
Lily (smirks): Oh, I’m positive it will.
Lizzie: But you’re not going to share?
Lily: What fun would that be? Trust me, Lizzie, you’ll enjoy the surprise. Or surprises, I should say. (Insert evil laugh.) Back to the interview. What good thing happened last summer?
Lizzie: Well, my youngest niece, Sabrina, was born. And Meg, Jess, and I got to the beach for a week.
Lily: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Lizzie: Does it count if it was my Dad? (Lily shakes her head.) Last romantic kiss? Not a chance. He told me I’d be perfect if only I could lose a few pounds and he was a lousy kisser. Too much tongue. (Shudders.)
Lily: Do you think there is life on other planets?
Lizzie: Ah, that was part of my deep conversation with Matty. I have to say yes. The universe is too vast for Earth to be the only inhabited planet.
Lily: Do you still talk to your first crush?
Lizzie: He’s my dry cleaner, so yep. That’s life in a small town. You can’t go anywhere without running into somebody you know.
Lily: Do you like bubble baths?
Lizzie: Are there people who don’t? Wow. So weird!
Lily: Do you like your neighbors?
Lizzie: I could do without the heavy metal music thumping right below my bed and the squeaky mattress and … um … acrobatic sex above it, but for the most part, yes. No nosy neighbors and when I’ve needed help they’ve been there, like the time heavy metal dude helped me catch a bat.
Lily: A bat? Ugh! So, what are your bad habits?
Lizzie: I’m too lazy to bother cooking for myself, so I eat way too much junk, which is why I have too much junk … in my trunk. I make excuses to skip the gym on a daily basis. And, in the spirit of complete honesty, I put myself down way too much.
Lily: I think most women do that. Where would you like to travel?
Lizzie: Australia is at the top of my list, but I’d love to go back to England, too. I went there years ago and stayed at youth hostels. This time, I’d like to upgrade my experience, maybe stay at a country estate hotel. But I’m broke, so that won’t be happening anytime soon.
Lily: Do you have trust issues?
Lizzie: Big time. I’ve been burned way too many times, so I have a hard time letting my guard down.
Lily: Favorite part of your daily routine?
Lizzie: On a workday? Walking in the door, putting on comfy clothes, and cuddling up on the sofa with my two cats.
Lily: Sounds cozy. What body part are you most uncomfortable with?
Lizzie: Butt, gut, and thighs.
Lily: What do you do when you wake up?
Lizzie: Hit the snooze bar a few times. Bitch about how early it is. Fall back to sleep, then wake up with no time to get ready. Can you tell I’m not a morning person?
Lily: Maybe just a little. Is there anything you’d like to change about your appearance?
Lizzie: Butt, gut, and thighs. But I’d have to get my ass to the gym and say farewell to takeout so … I am who I am.
Lily: Who are you most comfortable around?
Lizzie: I think it depends on the situation. I can fake my way through a lot of things, but I’m most myself with my close friends. Now if you were to flip the question, I’m most uncomfortable around men that I don’t know.
Lily: Interesting. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Lizzie: Nope. But that’s fine because I wouldn’t want any of them back.
Lily: Do you ever want to get married?
Lizzie: I’ve been dreading that question. Here’s the thing, I’m a romantic, but given my track record, I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me.
Lily: You never know.
Lizzie: There you go, being mysterious again. The simple answer is, yes. I do want to get married. But I only want to marry someone who loves me as much as I love him.
Lily: That’s how it should be. Complete change of pace, is your hair long enough for a ponytail?
Lizzie: Yes. Not sure what else to say to that!
Lily: Which celebrities would you like to make love with?
Lizzie: Just one. Griffin Brookes! Yum. But I don’t think I’ll ever meet him so … Besides, he’s married.
Lily: I’ll have to agree with you on that one! Would you rather win a million dollars in the lottery or never have to pay for anything ever again?
Lizzie: Never have to pay for anything ever again, because then I wouldn’t need the money.
Lily: Do you play sports?
Lizzie: I played little league for a few years when I was a kid, but nothing recent. I love baseball, though.
Lily: Would you rather live without TV or music?
Lizzie: TV, I think. I have music on all the time, especially when I’m reading.
Lily: Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Lizzie: Oh, God, yes! Many times. But they always seem to figure it out.
Lily: What do you say during awkward silences?
Lizzie: Honestly, I don’t find silence awkward or uncomfortable. I guess that’s the introvert in me. I don’t think every second needs to be filled with noise.
Lily: I agree with you on that point. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Lizzie: Can I confess that I hate shopping? But if I have to give an answer, any bookstore, anywhere.
Lily: Good answer! Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Lizzie: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I definitely believe in second chances, and I know for a fact that people can change because I’ve seen it. That said, if someone has hurt me, I will wish them well with someone else, but they’re probably not getting a second chance with me.
Lily: So you’d be cautious. Nothing wrong with that. What did you want to do after high school?
Lizzie: Unfortunately, I didn’t have a clue. I went to Penn State and studied English, so I wasn’t really career-minded. When I got out, I just drifted into the first job that came along and here I am …
Lily: It’s never too late to try something new, you know.
Lizzie: Maybe. But I don’t have the money to go back to school right now.
Lily: If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?
Lizzie: It probably means that I’m listening, but it could also mean that I’m daydreaming and not paying attention. Or it might mean that I’m plotting something. You just never know!
Lily: Do you smile at strangers?
Lizzie: Sure, why not? I know that when I’m having a bad day, sometimes one smile or one cheerful hello can turn things around.
Lily: Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Lizzie: Outer space.
Lily: Do you want a roommate?
Lizzie: I’d consider it, but I’m not looking. It would be nice to split the bills with someone, but roommates can be tough territory.
Lily: Agreed. What are you paranoid about?
Lizzie: I hate when people sneak up on me. Is that paranoid?
Lily: Eh. A little. What was the meanest thing someone ever said to you?
Lizzie: There are too many to list here.
Lily: What was the nicest thing someone ever said to you?
Lizzie: Every ‘I love you’. That says everything, don’t you think?
Lily: Absolutely. Just two more questions. Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about?
Lizzie: Yes. But I can’t say what because then people would find out. I will admit that it was at work.
Lily: Fair enough. Last question. What language do you want to learn?
Lizzie: I already know some Spanish from high school and college, but I’ve always wanted to learn French or Italian. Or heck, why not French and Italian.
Lily: Why not? Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Lizzie: Any chance I could get a clue or two for answering?
Lily: Nope.
Lizzie: Damn it. Just … make it amazing!
Lily: Oh, I shall, Lizzie. I shall!
***
Coming up next! The one and only Colin D. Blake answers the same questions.
Lily: Good morning, Lizzie. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me on a Saturday morning.
Lizzie: You’re welcome. But did it have to be so early?
Lily: Sorry about that. I’m heading off to do some research in a bit, and I’ll be gone most of the day. I wanted to get to know you a little better before we get to your story. Shall we get to it?
Lizzie: I have a full cup of coffee, so I’m ready to roll.
Lily: Caffeine is always a plus! First question, who was the last person you held hands with?
Lizzie (rolls eyes): Sad to say it was probably one of my nieces. I’m going to go with Rachel, who’s five. Not that I’m sad I held hands with her, but it’s been way too long since I’ve held hands with a guy that I was into, you know?’
Lily: Trust me, Lizzie, I can relate. Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?
Lizzie: Ha! Depends on who I’m with and if there are cocktails involved. I’m shy around people that I don’t know, but I think that comes from being an introvert. When I’m with friends and family, I’m pretty open and outgoing. When I’ve had a few drinks, I’ve been known to become the loudest person in the room.
Lily: Makes sense. Next question, who are you looking forward to seeing?
Lizzie: Oh, that’s an easy one. Girls night in tonight with my best friends, Meg and Jess, Thai food and Australian wine.
Lily: Sounds like fun! Would you say you’re easy to get along with?
Lizzie: Most of the time, I guess. But I have my limits, especially at work.
Lily: Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him?
Lizzie: I wish I could say no, but unfortunately … yeah. Who hasn’t? He could be incredibly charming when he wanted to, so he made me forget what a colossal ass he was. I did learn my lesson, though, so the next time he came around I told him to get lost.
Lily: If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?
Lizzie: Well, I’m not ‘in like’ with anybody at the moment so …
Lily: But if you were?
Lizzie: Then he’d better take care of me, just like I’d take care of him. Isn’t that the idea?
Lily: Yes, in a perfect world. So, if you’re not dating anyone at the moment, who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Lizzie: I’m slightly obsessed with Griffin Brookes, the actor. He’s about as perfect as they come, not that I ever expect to meet a guy like that!
Lily: But a girl can dream? Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Lizzie: To quote the Magic Eight Ball, “outlook not so good”. I’m dating challenged, and I’m a homebody, so meeting guys has never been easy for me. But, hey, never say never, right?
Lily: Exactly. This one’s pretty personal, so you don’t have to answer. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Lizzie: Depends on who I’m talking to, I guess. It’s not something I’m likely to bring up, and I’m a relatively private person. But if there’s something that I need to talk about, I can go to Meg and Jess, for sure.
Lily: Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Lizzie: Hmm. That’s a tough one! Let me think … okay, I ran into my old friend Matt the other night after choir practice, and we got very philosophical. God, the Universe, good versus evil, just light conversation that ended with the question ‘can light exist without darkness’. Is that deep enough?
Lily: You’ll have to let me know when you find the answer to that one! Okay, this one is easier! What does your most recent text say?
Lizzie (after whipping out her phone): Honey bourbon? Yes? No? That’s from Meg; she has a friend who runs a distillery. If you were wondering, the answer was yes, and we’ll be sampling some of that later.
Lily: I’m hesitant to ask this one, but it’s on the list …
Lizzie: It’s quite a list!
Lily: It’s from a list of icebreakers and, you know what, I don’t need to know the answer to that one, so I’m substituting one of my own. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with.
Lizzie: Oh, that’s too easy! Simon Prince, the crime novelist, is my second cousin, and I’ve known Tessa Jameson since she was tiny. I have made reservations for a few famous people, but I can’t say who.
Lily: I’ve heard of Tessa but I’m not familiar with her work, but Simon? Every single book of his is a must-read!
Lizzie: I’ll tell him you said that. He still gets like a kid on Christmas when he hears that kind of stuff, even after five straight New York Times bestsellers.
Lily: And I’ll try not to go all fan-girl again. So, do you like big crowds of people?
Lizzie: Not in general, since I tend to feel overwhelmed, but it depends on the occasion.
Lily: Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Lizzie: Hell, yeah, although I have crappy luck for the most part. But I choose to believe in the good stuff. My day may come eventually.
Lily (smirks): Oh, I’m positive it will.
Lizzie: But you’re not going to share?
Lily: What fun would that be? Trust me, Lizzie, you’ll enjoy the surprise. Or surprises, I should say. (Insert evil laugh.) Back to the interview. What good thing happened last summer?
Lizzie: Well, my youngest niece, Sabrina, was born. And Meg, Jess, and I got to the beach for a week.
Lily: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Lizzie: Does it count if it was my Dad? (Lily shakes her head.) Last romantic kiss? Not a chance. He told me I’d be perfect if only I could lose a few pounds and he was a lousy kisser. Too much tongue. (Shudders.)
Lily: Do you think there is life on other planets?
Lizzie: Ah, that was part of my deep conversation with Matty. I have to say yes. The universe is too vast for Earth to be the only inhabited planet.
Lily: Do you still talk to your first crush?
Lizzie: He’s my dry cleaner, so yep. That’s life in a small town. You can’t go anywhere without running into somebody you know.
Lily: Do you like bubble baths?
Lizzie: Are there people who don’t? Wow. So weird!
Lily: Do you like your neighbors?
Lizzie: I could do without the heavy metal music thumping right below my bed and the squeaky mattress and … um … acrobatic sex above it, but for the most part, yes. No nosy neighbors and when I’ve needed help they’ve been there, like the time heavy metal dude helped me catch a bat.
Lily: A bat? Ugh! So, what are your bad habits?
Lizzie: I’m too lazy to bother cooking for myself, so I eat way too much junk, which is why I have too much junk … in my trunk. I make excuses to skip the gym on a daily basis. And, in the spirit of complete honesty, I put myself down way too much.
Lily: I think most women do that. Where would you like to travel?
Lizzie: Australia is at the top of my list, but I’d love to go back to England, too. I went there years ago and stayed at youth hostels. This time, I’d like to upgrade my experience, maybe stay at a country estate hotel. But I’m broke, so that won’t be happening anytime soon.
Lily: Do you have trust issues?
Lizzie: Big time. I’ve been burned way too many times, so I have a hard time letting my guard down.
Lily: Favorite part of your daily routine?
Lizzie: On a workday? Walking in the door, putting on comfy clothes, and cuddling up on the sofa with my two cats.
Lily: Sounds cozy. What body part are you most uncomfortable with?
Lizzie: Butt, gut, and thighs.
Lily: What do you do when you wake up?
Lizzie: Hit the snooze bar a few times. Bitch about how early it is. Fall back to sleep, then wake up with no time to get ready. Can you tell I’m not a morning person?
Lily: Maybe just a little. Is there anything you’d like to change about your appearance?
Lizzie: Butt, gut, and thighs. But I’d have to get my ass to the gym and say farewell to takeout so … I am who I am.
Lily: Who are you most comfortable around?
Lizzie: I think it depends on the situation. I can fake my way through a lot of things, but I’m most myself with my close friends. Now if you were to flip the question, I’m most uncomfortable around men that I don’t know.
Lily: Interesting. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Lizzie: Nope. But that’s fine because I wouldn’t want any of them back.
Lily: Do you ever want to get married?
Lizzie: I’ve been dreading that question. Here’s the thing, I’m a romantic, but given my track record, I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me.
Lily: You never know.
Lizzie: There you go, being mysterious again. The simple answer is, yes. I do want to get married. But I only want to marry someone who loves me as much as I love him.
Lily: That’s how it should be. Complete change of pace, is your hair long enough for a ponytail?
Lizzie: Yes. Not sure what else to say to that!
Lily: Which celebrities would you like to make love with?
Lizzie: Just one. Griffin Brookes! Yum. But I don’t think I’ll ever meet him so … Besides, he’s married.
Lily: I’ll have to agree with you on that one! Would you rather win a million dollars in the lottery or never have to pay for anything ever again?
Lizzie: Never have to pay for anything ever again, because then I wouldn’t need the money.
Lily: Do you play sports?
Lizzie: I played little league for a few years when I was a kid, but nothing recent. I love baseball, though.
Lily: Would you rather live without TV or music?
Lizzie: TV, I think. I have music on all the time, especially when I’m reading.
Lily: Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Lizzie: Oh, God, yes! Many times. But they always seem to figure it out.
Lily: What do you say during awkward silences?
Lizzie: Honestly, I don’t find silence awkward or uncomfortable. I guess that’s the introvert in me. I don’t think every second needs to be filled with noise.
Lily: I agree with you on that point. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Lizzie: Can I confess that I hate shopping? But if I have to give an answer, any bookstore, anywhere.
Lily: Good answer! Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Lizzie: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I definitely believe in second chances, and I know for a fact that people can change because I’ve seen it. That said, if someone has hurt me, I will wish them well with someone else, but they’re probably not getting a second chance with me.
Lily: So you’d be cautious. Nothing wrong with that. What did you want to do after high school?
Lizzie: Unfortunately, I didn’t have a clue. I went to Penn State and studied English, so I wasn’t really career-minded. When I got out, I just drifted into the first job that came along and here I am …
Lily: It’s never too late to try something new, you know.
Lizzie: Maybe. But I don’t have the money to go back to school right now.
Lily: If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?
Lizzie: It probably means that I’m listening, but it could also mean that I’m daydreaming and not paying attention. Or it might mean that I’m plotting something. You just never know!
Lily: Do you smile at strangers?
Lizzie: Sure, why not? I know that when I’m having a bad day, sometimes one smile or one cheerful hello can turn things around.
Lily: Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Lizzie: Outer space.
Lily: Do you want a roommate?
Lizzie: I’d consider it, but I’m not looking. It would be nice to split the bills with someone, but roommates can be tough territory.
Lily: Agreed. What are you paranoid about?
Lizzie: I hate when people sneak up on me. Is that paranoid?
Lily: Eh. A little. What was the meanest thing someone ever said to you?
Lizzie: There are too many to list here.
Lily: What was the nicest thing someone ever said to you?
Lizzie: Every ‘I love you’. That says everything, don’t you think?
Lily: Absolutely. Just two more questions. Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about?
Lizzie: Yes. But I can’t say what because then people would find out. I will admit that it was at work.
Lily: Fair enough. Last question. What language do you want to learn?
Lizzie: I already know some Spanish from high school and college, but I’ve always wanted to learn French or Italian. Or heck, why not French and Italian.
Lily: Why not? Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Lizzie: Any chance I could get a clue or two for answering?
Lily: Nope.
Lizzie: Damn it. Just … make it amazing!
Lily: Oh, I shall, Lizzie. I shall!
***
Coming up next! The one and only Colin D. Blake answers the same questions.
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